twilight avenue

Probably i have lost everything this week... Its heartbreaking to see how things are going and i have only wished for one thing, happiness of others around me... I hope i did made a difference...Heads up nazri... Life has just gotta move on... :(

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05 17 12 - Risk

I have failed in my attempt for PE teaching job... And so too the Prisons. I was never expecting failures but thats life. I will move on from here... Life's too short to be bothered. Finding jobs can be real tough but lets hope today will be something to look up to...

In 3hours is my Driving TP... I just want to pass for the first time.

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05 15 12 - RollerCoast

Just a week ago, i have said something about life's been looking up... This week has been good i guess... I would prefer to remember the nice things like chocs in max brenners and the rink....

Somehow i did try to open this heart of mine up and it all thanks to her... Knowing that i did so... I know of the possibilities of getting hurt again... Why do i still take chances? Why do i try? I like her very much...there too many things that we had in common....

She did change my life in many ways of her own style... It got me believing... Im so afraid of rejection and love...and yesterday... It got me thinking that i might fall again someday...that heartbreaking feeling seems inevitable nazri....

But i do not want to lose her either...whatever happens, i hope i am ready to get hurt... Just because i want to keep her with me... Just because...just because...

I do not want to change her but i just want to be there for her for better things to come...if she were to fall, i want to be the one to
Catch her... I would do anything for that sunshine... Anything...

Can i give my heart to you? Even i know it might get broken again... Can i? This is crazy but i shall leave everything to you god.... Guide us the right way...

Hopefully i can get a job soon...

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05 10 12 - Blink

Been locking this blog privacy up, now i shall open up. Im finally ready.

Life's looking up. Alhamduillah. :)
It has been quite a hectic few days but i managed to pull it through.
Sis said she might pass the ownership of the car if i pass my tp!!!

I have been running and training most of my free time, kinda like a nice feeling
to complete them, can i still get back to those days speed? can i?
Hard to know...Running my worries away wont help, but running do heals sometimes.

Sometime, i really wonder god has in for me, as the day goes, it gets kinda interesting, i just want to embrace it. Given the chance to save a life...i will do it. Given the chance to change life i wanna take it. Given the chance to love, i should not ever hold back.

A friend introduced me about helping the Cambodia kids in need by helping them build library in September... i really want to go with her... Think i might even opt out from this year Formula one work. I mean this is really one opportunity of a lifetime. im not gonna waste it.

I am kinda afraid to open up these days, but somehow i did so through conversations. It takes courage but where has Nazri saifee confidence went to? where did it go? The break up really hit me hard i guess. But for some reasons, i know there's definitely someone, the beautiful smile, the one that runs the show, the shy ones, the one that shares, and always makes your day all sunshine, the unexplained 0910, whatever it is...lets just see what god has in for us. I will like you to be the one to pull me away from the edges.

I thank you for today god, let the other days be a new day.

Mood:calm
Music:I Miss You - Blink 182

05 09 11(no subject)

I feel so left out. How i wish i could catch up... The long time and distance, did it really change anything, because i hope and wish that you were really back. Really back in my arms. I miss u, and all i could do is look far from a distance hoping that you will not forget me. I have fears and i wish you help put those fears away...i've been waiting till the day you come back, hoping to be with you... Its been one month... Am things gonna change or never be the same again? I love you... Really hope you know.... All i could do is cover deep within my heart... Onli god knows... Dear god, please bring back her to me... I don't want to be sad..no more.

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04 24 11 - Crazy

Oh gosh..its only 12 pm..i just wanna go home the next day and rest. It can be boring here and we even resort to playing monopoly deal card games. Trying to slowly get to know the stn guys... Different characters.

Mum is getting better from her sickness. I miss my japanese cousins wedding. Ashari is still in KL..

Guess now, ill take a nap becuz it will be a 5 km run later...

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04 24 11 - making the effort.

Tired

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Mood:sad
Music:Everybody hurts - Avril Lavigne

03 09 11 - Tough life ahead.

Here's an update...
Life's been pretty alright i would say.
Just wanted to learn more in the station and kana takan like crazy. working hours has been like work
one day for 24hr and off for two days. so yea. not bad at all.im kinda looking forward for ORD date already.
2/6/2012. long way to go...

Anyways, life's after graduation is kinda less of "going through the motion" Im kinda went through the torturing 6-7months and here i am already starting work.
Okay, im not sure if you guys would consider myself as working because its national service but really im already earning everything for myself already. no more allowances but everything is im paying myself.

NS allowances is kinda not enough though, especially you're paying for your own bills, laptop, clothes and im already starting my driving license journey...

Upcoming is the braces surgery($3000+) and of course the course that ive been wanting to go, Bachelor of Science (Psychology and Human Performance) awarded by the university of western australia($37000). Needs to go through lots of financial transactions...gosh thats troublesome. i wish im earning well...its kinda a pretty difficult world out there...

My juniors from sw just graduated, and i do wish them all the best too..

and oh oh! anyone saw the documentary on singapore boy's or something like that at discovery channel? it kinda potrays the journey about how boys becoming men in national service but whoa, i think the whole show is kinda ehem...true in someway...

but they should document about cd and police nsfs too, like how we go through that six months. oh come on, we are frontliners doing national service, mind u. haha

Mood:awake

02 01 11(no subject)

My posting order : Banyan Fire Station
Location : Deep inside Jurong Island
Transportation : 7am sharp at Jurong Fire Station
Where i stay : Yew Tee
Working Hours: 24 hours.

So this week is a new start for everyone that just POC, yeap, be in their own respective stations...Been into work for already 2 days, just office hours though but travelling can make me really really tired already.

tomorrow we will know which rota we will be. im kinda nervous. im hoping for rota 3 cuz i kinda like them. but whatever it is, ill just go along with it...

01 26 11 - POC OH!

http://www.facebook.com/nazri.saifee#!/video/video.php?v=1783135293265&subj=552693989

yes! finally, e link above is our poc video montage! gosh. im done! we all did it.
6 crazy months we finally end and become section commanders.
frontliners!

im proud to be one of them. yes, definately.
not many can survive this course either.
afterall, u gotta have some balls to go through this shit!
:)

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