was contemplating of the past memory
yeap. thats what happen when you got nothing to do.
- too lazy to start hb.uhuh.
nvm. no sch today and didnt go training.

prioritise soccer for now.touches is still there yaw!.
anyways, ive still want that jack jones leather jacket!

dealing with things close to the heart is always hard, with the stressful life you're already having.sometimes, you wish you could help but at the same time you're having problems yourself already.

i wish i could turn back to atleast 6 months ago, where everyone is happy. is that wish hard.
im not asking for years ago but months ago. what happen to my motto? living life to the fullest and make everyone happy.maybe i should not contemplate but change for what things are now.

we are once, once forgotten. this time the future is ours in our hands.we've got nothing too loose, but learnt.
once you let it go, let it go you will.
once you have it, do cherish it.
just pause for once and lookup.
tell those you care now, or never to regret.

i had a bad dream. ive always have it all this while.

its hard being me.
all you can do is watch.
and try to understand.
no matter what you do, it seems useless.
no matter how hard you try, you fell.
maybe im asking for it.
maybe i should have never open it up.
maybe i should have shut it down.
maybe i should not hope.
maybe i should be like the others.
the more i have to believe the more i tried harder
to pick up the pieces.

if that is one thing i wish, that is to just die now.
ignore all this.if its for nothing at all,
why being happy going through all this.
knowing other's happiness are yours too, that's the only strength im left.
life's been nothing but to help fulfill other dreams.

we'll write this song and turns off the lights.

ive got these lyrics in my mind...
and im writing it down.
what should the title be anyway?hmm.

anyway, here's a video by dashboard confessional.


Belle Of The Boulevard

Dashboard Confessional | MySpace Music Videos

Crawl

Chris Brown | MySpace Music Videos

i really hope chris brown will change to be a btter person. his attack on rihanna is crazy.
but oh well.i really like his new vid. this video will make ppl talk.
everyone deserves a second chance don't they?

died.for now.

back to old blg.
so many to say.

- thicksthieves.

Still Breathing - Mayday Parade.
Can You Find Me - The Summer Set
Takdir dan Waktu - Mega
Permintaan Hati - Letto


.....


Far Away - Nickelback.

its a mess.
my head.

finally ive got a good good rest. so much needed sleep. okay. sch has been pretty alright for now. back to reality. books and all. studies.blah blah.

im deciding to stop football and focus on track.but...gosh.im still deciding.

i just can't get enough of you. i just miss you such that ive lost of words these few days. you would'nt know it too i guess. i wish i could have more time with you. no doubt about my feelings, but i...

naz, can you stop fucking worry. you are one hell of a cb fellow.
....
just shut it.

faw gf,a nwajfwqfuwfqwbfbfgbwgabg qwsgfqwf bfq fbwfqbf
useless cb.

no one but you.

today was great. in my opinion.
managed to catch up on the smallville episodes
and even watch mj's this is it movie online.
i must say he really inspires me.
such simplicity and he did his work with one thing
that he emphasized, L.O.V.E
i really miss mj somehow, becuz he's been my idol when i was young.

that things aside, ouh heys! sch starting tmolo. the last semester.
omg how time flies. im not sure if im looking forward to this at all...
many reasons though.

track outing to sentosa the other day was damn great. it was fun..
kinda in chao ta condition already. we had games, and than dinner follow by dessert
at seranggoon. The dessert is niceeee. omgomg.hahaha.the mango thingy. wah.
my tummy's bloated.
reached home, and watch football til 3am.
tried to slp...and again one of those slpless night.
i cant stop thinking.
cant i.

lets hope everything goes well for this new sem.
soocer or track.
both?

i can only get my hp no. working online on tuesday.
so ill remain uncontactable.
mums place the cordless phone in her room.
and she locks her room at nite.
...hai.

im still having those small fearful feelings.
it seems to grow whenever i thought of it.
ohh well.
good nite everybody.
ive to force myself to slp now now!

ill only use song's to describe my emotions frm now on!.

cant sign in msn for god knows wht.
camp is fun. kinda bonded well witht the bendemeer class 3N1.
very lovely people.
victor, our camp instructor said something during the debrief.
that i think gonna change this life of mine. the difference between the old and the older.
he look at me and said i was a time bomb. he explained why. bad with stamina and all. but there is something inside me that wants to show it but always do not want to.
that is so true. i kept things to myself most of the time..

earlier ystd. i got this terrible migrain because of lack of slp.
i could not even slp thinking of all.my life, my priorities and my love.
so much difficulty.it is so stupid. nvm. so around close to 12 plus...i kinda going to vomit..
but i could not. the migrain was very painful. ended up in chalet...
managed to wake up earlier and say some goodbyes to my class.

on the way home, me and haikal borded a cab. otw, i kinda wanted to vomit and i really vomitted with a plastic bag. it was so bad. that i gonna faint. reached home, grabbed my bag and realise i left my phone in the taxi. and there goes my phone. lost my phone and all the contacts. i could nt even control myself...i ate medicine and all. and knock out...

there goes my phone. my memories and all. my pics.
this is so stupid.
mum was dissapointed, i can see that but she kept telling me that its alright.
its her birthday gift to me afterall. she saved it for me.
im so dissapointed.

between you and i - everyavenue.
stuck inmy head.

Here's a quick one before i sleep veh tired.
i need some inspiration. neeeded some.
back to the old ways. of a great footballer.
five for fighting... im training harder.
did gym this morning and juggle ball with khalis for 3 hours.
simple as that and off to mit khalis and his parents along with his two nephews.
his nephew, azim is scard of me.hahahha. den go eat at maimunah and gosh i ate alot.like babi.
den go back khalis house play game...
off to tampiness mall and one for shopping and walkaround.alone. cb sia.
nvm...
2 hrs wait till 6.30 den...finally event briefing and im home.
like that. eventful? nottt.

tmolo napha tester job in the morning. coolest shitz. hahaha. den i gonna train my fitnes aerobics.
with core training too.
deciding to kick soccer balls. because i need to do so. need to do so fucking so. there's so many things. i want to run damn long long distance....
i just felt like doing so. time to destress. argh so fucking me.
im asking for it right. damn right i deserve it. imminent fate of mine.
cb cb cb ar naz. why do u hav to try so hard for everything.


ill keep it.
shut.